A guy I know (who will remain unnamed) recently posted a fairly scathing review of one of my all-time favourite books, Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. By his words, my love for this book made me a "literary moron" who merely follows whatever the new trend at the time may be... literary or otherwise.
While I like to think I have relatively thick skin, I was a bit offended and was a little disappointed in him. All I could think was, he just doesn't get it.
This isn't a book you read because you are looking for next great literary work. Instead Gilbert's book is appealing because it speaks to you if you've ever felt that, here you are in a place where you should be happy, where you should be content because you've been doing everything "right" for as long as you can remember but, the fact of the matter is that, you're not. All the trappings of your good life make you feel just that, trapped as opposed to fulfilled. Then you question, what the heck is wrong with me. Gilbert encounters this and the book just chronicles her best attempt at figuring it all out.
In reading his review, his biggest grievance appeared to be his perception that Gilbert just gave up and stopped being an adult. In his opinion, she cast all responsibility to the wind and ignored all obligations in her life. And okay, I can sort of see where he might get that but considering her circumstances, and not making an actual judgement call on whether she gave up or not, why was her course of action so horribly despicable? Arguably, she was at her wits' end and there certainly were worse things she could have done. She had no children. She was financially secure (to the point where her husband was seeking money from her upon divorce). She wasn't faced with the traditional responsibilities typically associated with women her age. So, why this burning need that she needs to accept the supposed "responsibility" and stick with a life that's making her absolutely miserable?
He mentioned that teenage/college years are the time for blatant disregard for responsibility but that once a certain age has been achieved you just have to suck it up and be an adult and that got me thinking. Maybe he's right (to a point). Maybe if someone were to write a guide to life, telling you exactly what you should be doing at every stage of your life, the section on teenage and college years would probably read something along the lines of, "be crazy, do stupid shit because it will all be forgiven since you're young." Whereas, the post-college section would probably read, "go get married, hold a responsible job, make babies and by the way, no more crazy adventures for you." Except of course, there is no such book. Instead, if you're someone like me, you happened to have the, "be responsible, do what's expected" mantra beat into your head from the time were five and twenty years later you find yourself wondering, "should I have?"
I think the real thorn for him was that, readers of this book may think that they should do exactly as Gilbert did but, she's not suggesting that at all. While it may work for some, it may not be appropriate (or for that matter, feasible) for most. The book should instead serve as a reminder to not forget yourself and what's important to you. It's a reminder that you don't have to always do what is expected or what's necessarily the most "responsible" thing either. To an extent, it could be said that it's a very selfish message but again, this is not necessarily a bad thing. Quite frankly, I've seen many (usually women) who are too selfless and just end up being used in the end.
btw - I told him that I was just a bit devastated by his review, and like the good guy he is, he took the review down. Now, if only everything else was that easy.
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