Dealbreaker

I was sifting through some old files on my computer when I came across an free short movie I had downloaded from iTunes a few years ago called Dealbreaker. It's about a woman who lives in NYC and she's recounting what it was about each of the men she'd dated in the past that caused them to be oh so wrong. In some cases, it's only one date and she knows immediately. And in others, she dates the guy for a while and then his fatal flaw is revealed. All in all, the film is pretty darn hilarious. I was trying to see if I could find a copy of it on YouTube so that I can share but, I've had no luck thus far. If you go to Glamour Reel Moments archive, they're teasing that they may post it soon.

Anyway, in the spirit of the movie, I thought maybe I'd take a moment and recount the dealbreaking moments for me with some of the guys I've encountered... some I've dated and some I've only considered dating... but the one thing that has held true is that for most of them it was all in what they said. (No worries, the names have all been changed to protect their identities and unless stated otherwise, they were very serious when they made the statement.)

Alex -
"I think I'd like to be a priest."
(Well, that's f*cking awesome... could you imagine me, dating a priest? HA!)

Ben -
"Real women don't have feet that big. Those shoes could only be for transvestites."
(Said while on a date with me about size 10 and up shoes. For the record, I wear a size 10 and I'm very female.)

Charlie -
"I dunno, I did cocaine last weekend and it wasn't all that bad."
(Hmmm... maybe because it destroyed all the brain cells that would tell you otherwise.)

David -
"Guess what?! Today is our two week anniversary!"
(Oh barf! Who the heck celebrates two weeks! I admit, I felt a little bad saying, "well happy anniversary but, we're done now.")

Edward -
"I LOVE THE ROCK! I WANT TO BE THE ROCK!!"
(Just for clarification, he meant the wrestler not the movie. Not exactly my idea of a role model.)

Felix -
"I am constantly thinking about the political implications of my actions."
(Really? ALL your actions? That could make for some less than exciting evenings I'd imagine.)

Grant -
"I didn't think Valentine's mattered so, I went out with some friends to see a movie."
(And just like that, we were done... somehow this surprised him.)

Henry -
"I know we could be so good together!! Why don't you just give us a chance?!?!"
(Overly dramatic response to me saying, "I have to study for my finals so I don't fail out of law school. Maybe we can do something when the semester is done." Needless to say but, I blocked all future calls.)

Isaac -
"I have no conscience."
(Never a good sign.)